The Things You Need

 

We spend money we don’t have on things we don’t need to create impressions that won’t last on people we don’t care about. ~Anonymous

 

Did you buy the  house you currently have  because you felt pressure to live in a certain neighborhood?

Did you ever buy  clothes or a vacation that you knew was too exspensive  but you did it because you did not want people to think less of you?

Did you buy the wrong car because you felt pressure to make an impression on your brother-in-law of your old college roommate?

Have you ever spent money on items because you did not want people to think less of you?

 I have.

And I felt weak and ashamed that I could not stand up for myself and admit  that I just  did not have the money or even worst, I did really did not want what I purchased.

A few  weeks back I wrote  a blog post asking  when is enough really  enough….how much “stuff” do we as humans really need?  The other side of that coin is how much stuff do we purchase  and KNOW we can do without?  Know that we did not need it, but  buy it nevertheless.  How many things  do we have in our homes that as we were purchasing them they made  our stomachs flop and our mouths dry up? It’s an interesting place to be in when you are with friends or family  and you first notice that you  have VERY different  ideas on  the definition of expensive . Even more importantly that you have very different definitions of  what  really adds value to your lives.

It’s hard to wake up and realize that you are different.  That you have very different  priorities from your loved ones.  Very different wants and needs.

No one wants anyone they love to think less of them. And sadly many of of us in this country  equate worth with income  and things. The more stuff you have the more popular you are and well liked  you may be.  Some where along the line money and self-esteem  made some kind of unholy pact that the majority of  modern society took to be true. So how did I find myself  in these horrible situations?

I was not honest. I was not honest with my friends, family or myself. I did not want others to find me lacking or be disappointed in me. And honestly I was not ready to own my voice.

Trying to impress somebody is a lie. It’s inauthentic , it’s dumb and it makes me feel yucky. Why should I try so hard to get other people to like a person that isn’t really me? It makes no sense.

When you surround your self with cars, houses or clothes  that do not fit with who you are, that do not reflect your authentic self then guess what happens?  Your life gets filled up with things you do not need and people you do not care about.

 In 6 months I will be 45.  Next summer I send my youngest child off the college.  I will live alone for  he first time in 20 plus years.I am super excited! I am focusing on what the next 20 years of my life will look like. How will I live it, where will I live and what do I really need to be happy. The first 44 years of my life  I have focused on wants  and I would like to spend the next 44 focusing on needs and creating  a lifestyle for myself  that supports them.  Personal consumerism impacts the world and impacts who I am.

George Floyd Should Still Be Alive

George Floyd should be alive, this is what I know to be true. He should be alive. 9 minutes 29 seconds. His family won’t get him back. His daughter will still grow up without her father. A guilty verdict will not change centuries of violence, it won't stop police from...

It’s OK to not be OK

It’s ok not to be ok. It is ok to be exhausted. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to be numb. Right now is a heavy, heavy time. I am not gonna lie… I have felt it all week long as I have taught, worked and even in this moment, as I write. I have been...

“Ask the Expert”: Equity Edition with QuickBooks Canada

The foundations of infusing equity into organizational culture apply at every level. Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion for Businesses Large and Small Y’all, last week, I got to sit down and answer some important questions as part of QuickBooks Canada’s “Ask the Expert”...