Dying to be born
 
 
 

Close scrutiny will show that most “crisis situations” are opportunities to either advance, or stay where you are.

Maxwell Maltz

 

 

I am making some pretty large changes in my life. My youngest daughter has her last, first day of high school this week. That’s right; she is a senior and about to embark on a year that will take her from the halls of her small rural high school to a dorm and academic halls on some unknown university campus. I know what she has coming her way.

What I do not know is what’s coming MY way? Where does my path lead?

  It used to be so easy!!! You took some crazy test in high school and they pegged you — chef, artist, mathematician or musician.  That’s the road you went down and you stayed on it for 40-50 years.  You knew what to contribute–if you were a chef you contributed food.  Easy-breezy sits and waits until retirement. Your career was planned for you.

  Those days are long gone.  Thank god!

   I have been working for over 20 years. Like most folks of a certain age I may be going through a crisis of sort. You might call it a midlife crisis but I call it something else-A crisis of spirit.

I know that I have reached a peak in my business career. I am not one to just punch a card and get a check. That does not interest me. I need to contribute. I need to add value and I need to be active. I am a worker bee.. A doer.  I am good at my job but after 20 years I am not learning as much as I want. I am not challenged in a way that excites me and I am not getting as much satisfaction as I used to.  My job is great. It’s actually fricking amazing- yet I have changed and evolved over the years and what once fulfilled my needs, no longer does.  

 Yet I know I have another 25 years of work ahead of me. I have skills and I know how to work. I need a community-my house is almost empty my children almost gone. I need consistent income- college is a little spendy.

But above all- I need a challenge. I currently work with smart, creative, interesting people, and I need that in the future.  I need to work on projects that I believe in, that have impact. I need to break barriers.  I need to have my time be my own. I want to be mobile. I want options.

Woo-Hoo!!!! I get excited just thinking about it. Just writing it shot electricity through my body, and that place deep within me that tells me when I have made a really good choice just poked me as to say good job kid.

After 20 plus years of managing others, I want to spend the next 25 years managing myself. Investing in myself.  The next 25 years will be devoted to designing a life that works for  Desiree. The Desiree I am today and the Desiree I will be in the future.

I choose me.

 I do not want to slow down, I have no plans to slow down. I want to speed up and hit the curves using all my super powers for good. Educating, motivating, mentoring, and liberating.

Where will my path lead? I have no idea. But in the words of Audre Lorde  “I am deliberate and afraid of nothing”.

And I think that kicks ass.

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