Community as Love

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
Mother Teresa

Today I think I am supposed to be sad. Maybe I am supposed to be depressed. Sad  and depressed.  Honestly I cannot remember, and I really don’t care.

In case you woke up late and missed your alarm-Today is Valentine’s Day. February 14th-the official day of love and romance.

I am not in a romantic relationship. I am single. Solo. Solitary. Did I mention I am 45?

I am 45 and single.  If I let the media and our culture have me believe it, I am virtually  invisible and unworthy.

Lucky for you guys I have a few things to fall back on and I have never believed in the main stream media nor the marketing and PR fantasy painted around 2/14.

Why you wonder?

  • My deep belief in my love and affection for myself.
  • My unwavering love for my daughters.
  • My joy-filled relationship with my friends and family.
  • The gift of travel and community.

 It’s through falling in love with the world that I have fallen in love with myself.

My travels have taught me that true, deep meaningful love always include compassion and mercy.  When you feel compassion and mercy (not pity) you want to reduce the suffering of others. I think I used the wrong word– you NEED to reduce the suffering in others.  In my quest to show compassion and mercy to others I have shown these sacred gifts to myself. I have heard compassion and mercy described as being complementary to wisdom and necessary for enlightenment. I believe that to be true.

The non-sexual, brotherly love, deep connection with the global world is what I celebrate. It’s my Valentine.

Through my travels to amazing countries like Mozambique and Mexico I learned about benevolent love. The beauty of communities caring for its members, and sharing its gifts. Feeding and building with one another. The caring about another’s welfare. Nurturing another’s potential.  This love is unconditional. It’s not about self-interest. It’s actually about self-acceptance.

Somehow it does not bring to mind hearts and flowers, does it?

But it does bring to mind, strength, laughter, tears and triumph. Love requires action! Feeling love is just the first, important step.

It’s a spiritual love.. a love of the soul. It’s not about producing a soul mate, but producing a moral imperative to believe in the selfless, charitable nature of our fellow humans. People are hungry for this love, this sense of belonging and the self-acceptance which is its natural by product.

How do you put THAT on a greeting card Madison Avenue?

How do you articulate that love is a gift, not an obligation and that our connection as humans is primal? The  connection that I feel with the protesters in Egypt and  new mothers in Vietnam, the elderly in Haiti  or a struggling single dad in rural Alabama are the same.  I love and honor their humanity and their struggle- and in doing so honor my own. I strip bare the man-made constraints of culture and language and all the other social barriers we have created to keep us apart.

I see their source. I see their humanity. I see them

How could I not fall in love?

This post is part of the #LoveSparks Blogging Festival happening today! You can read other post abut  Love  here:  Please join me in lighting a spark o love that changes the world.

The only liberation is a shared liberation

Last week I sat on my porch with one of my closest friends who is Jewish. We talked about the pain, grief, and anger we were experiencing as we witnessed so much death in Israel and Palestine. As we spoke I affirmed how the epigenetic trauma of seeing Jews pulled from...

Friendship & Freedom: Free Workshop

REGISTRATION IS CLOSED: Hi friends, we're grateful for your interest! We've hit our capacity for this event and plan to run additional sessions once I'm back from my sabbatical. If you're not on our mailing list please sign up (bottom of this page) Let's get free!...

I’m committing to rest: my sabbatical

“If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” -Zora Neale Hurston Deeply tired, emotionally exhausted Black women seem to be the norm. Many of us watched our mothers, and grandmothers, and aunts, continue to take on more, and more, and...